For awhile now we have been asking for submissions for our website, stories about your deconversion or anything creative you would like to share with us like drawings or poems. A lady named Sharon came by book club one night to pass along her story to me, and it reminded me a lot of how we all take different types of journeys on our way to atheism. Sharon isn’t quite in the atheist camp yet, but has left her Christianity behind. While reading this I tried to relate to the stages I went through (even though I was never a Christian I did believe in ghosts/supernatural/afterlife at one point). Can you remember a stage like that for you? What helped you move from agnostic to atheist? Did it take you a longer time to let go of the idea of a ”soul” and than the idea of a God? If you consider yourself agnostic, does any of this resonate with you, or do you have a different view?
Here is her story, which I’m sure is always subject to change as she leaves her faith behind. Thank you for sharing with us Sharon!
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I used to be a Christian and now I am an agnostic. Since becoming an agnostic, I have felt the need to wrestle with my own beliefs and values. What are some of the principles that define who I am today? This is not an easy journey for me, but I would like to share what I am learning.
The underlying principle that guides my life is that my purpose in life is to evolve.
Spiritual evolution for me involves becoming self referential. This is a term that Deepak Chopra uses and it resonates for me. It tells me that my own inner self is to be respected and loved. I want to internalize self esteem based on the inner workings of my soul rather than the judgements that come from outside of myself. I want to identify with my self rather than the image that I present to the outside world. Self image fluctuates every moment, depending on the emotions of the moment. They depend on outward circumstances which are subject to change. Being self referential forces me to go deeper into the sacred places within.
For me, it is incredibly important to participate with the flow of the Universe. Suffering is caused not so much by circumstances themselves, but by resistance to those cricumstances. According to leading edge science, the whole is in the part. The cosmos is in me as I am in the cosmos. We are all one living organism. It is my mandate then to relax into the flow of the cosmos, putting in the my ”oar” to make necessary adjustments.
Another important value for me is detachment. This seems counterintuitive in view of the idea that the universe is one ”body” of which I am a part. But attachment is different from connection. It is essential to be aware of how I am in relationship with all that exists. Attachment, on the other hand, may be more like addiction than relationship.
Human emotions are a necessary and important part of being human. But harbouring such things as bitterness, resentment or guilt are toxic to the soul. Health is not just about what I eat or drink, it is also the state of mind I live in. I believe that I am responsible for creating my life….whether it be heaven or hell [here on earth]. These are choices I make every day.
This is where I am at in my spiritual journey. This is part of what being an agnostic means to me.
Sharon M.
Good on her for offering herself to the wolves. She seems to know a lot for someone who claims to be agnostic. It really seems like these book-club-things are worth coming out to!
I completely remember believing in ghosts and spiritual afterlife etc. I guess the change happened for me in only the last few years, understanding what a skeptic was and deciding to look at the world through that lens. I wasn’t into the new age stuff though so perhaps that was an easier road for me, I just jumped right into skepticism and didn’t look back.
Thanks for these responses to my reflections. Alexander, why do you see this as an offering to the wolves? Interesting remark, to be sure.
I don’t see myself necessarily as on the road to atheism. I want to follow truth (maybe even Truth, if I get lucky) wherever it takes me. At this point in my life, I see religion as irrelevant to this search. But there is a lot of evidence out there to suggest that there is universal intelligence present. If people are interested, I will flesh this out a bit.
Seriously? We are going to call ourselves atheists, skeptics, rational thinkers, and then listen to someone prattle on about Deepak–one of the silliest men on the planet who gets an oriental free pass on his ridiculous metaphysical babble–and the “flow of the universe”?
Seriously?
Sharon is not ‘agnostic’, she is still deeply religious, but instead of following God and the Bible she now worships the Universe and silly snake-oil salesmen like Deepak.
If we’re going to have deconversion stories then have deconversion stories. This is just one ignorant person looking for meaning going from one myth (Christianity) to another spiritual myth (the Universe). That’s not a deconversion: it’s trading ignorance for ignorance clothed in metaphysical silliness.
Using metaphysical rhetoric to sound deep about a “spiritual journey” does not make one ‘evolved’ it just makes someone ignorant about reality with some limited rhetorical skills.
I think we all take different journeys, this just happens to be the one Sharon is on. I agree Sharon is not agnostic, but she is the only person that gets to discover what label she takes on. I’d be interested in hearing your deconversion story, did you have any moments where you still believed in any supernatural beings?